Is a traumatic memory or experience holding you back from truly living your life? If you’re not sure, now is a good time for self-reflection, particularly in the way you respond to certain daily living situations. For example, do you often find yourself apologizing for things that aren’t your fault? Or have you been leaving conversations and situations at work without notifying your team? These, among many others, are examples of common trauma responses.
The way we respond to trauma can have a big impact on our daily lives. While these trauma responses are designed to keep us physically and emotionally safe, they can sometimes get in the way of our ability to truly thrive. At its core, trauma is a mental injury, and our bodies can react to unconscious memories of significant events, even those we might not be fully aware of. In a way, our bodies are wired to subconsciously protect us from experiencing future or repeated trauma.
This may sound overwhelming at first, however there is some good news: recognizing trauma responses can be done. It’s a crucial skill for anyone looking to move forward from their traumatic experiences. You can keep reading this guide to begin building upon this skill. Understanding the most common responses to trauma is a great place to start.
Recognizing States of Trauma
Recognizing trauma states can be a game-changer in both your personal and professional life. It helps us shift our perspective on interpersonal challenges, viewing them as rooted in trauma or past experiences rather than simply labeling them as problems.
When we look at the world through a trauma-informed lens, we can identify two main states of mind: “trauma brain” and “executive functioning brain.” Now, this is a bit of an oversimplification, but it really helps us pinpoint when someone—ourselves included—is experiencing a trauma response.
In the “trauma brain” state, we struggle to tap into our executive functioning skills. This means we might find it extra difficult to apply logical reasoning to situations and think about the future, plan, or organize our thoughts.
When we’re in this trauma state, we’re more prone to emotional reasoning, black-and-white thinking, and other cognitive distortions. Understanding these states can help us navigate our own responses and support others more effectively.
For instance, consider a team member who seems consistently difficult to work with. It’s easy to see them as the issue. However, when we adopt a trauma-informed perspective, we realize that they might be struggling to access their executive functioning skills because they’re often caught in a “trauma brain” state. This insight transforms our approach from, “How do we deal with this person?” to instead being, “How can we support them in moving past this mindset?”
By examining these specific behaviours, we can recognize them as learned trauma responses. This understanding promotes a more compassionate and empathetic environment, paving the way for healing and growth for everyone involved.
The 4 F’s: Primary Trauma Responses
There are four primary types of immediate trauma responses: fight, flight, freeze, and fawn. These responses manifest instantaneously in reaction to a traumatic event. You may have already heard of fight or flight before, however freeze and fawn—also known as freeze and appease—may also present themselves at times.
These responses are integral to our instinctual efforts to protect ourselves and to make sense of the traumatic experience. Understanding these mechanisms is crucial for both personal awareness and professional intervention in the trauma recovery process.
1. Fight
The fight response occurs when an individual perceives a need to confront or resist a perceived threat. This instinctual reaction is a fundamental survival mechanism that activates when a person believes it is necessary to defend themselves.
2. Flight
The flight response occurs when an individual perceives a threat and feels compelled to escape from danger. This instinctive reaction involves not only fleeing from the immediate threat but also encompasses strategies to avoid potential harm altogether.
3. Freeze
The freeze response occurs when the body effectively “shuts down” in response to overwhelming stress, resulting in a sensation of immobilization or being trapped. This reaction serves as a natural defense mechanism, activated when neither the fight nor flight responses appear viable.
4. Fawn
The fawn response occurs when an individual seeks to please or appease others as a means of avoiding conflict or potential harm. This behaviour serves as a coping mechanism for survival in situations where the individual feels a lack of power or control. By prioritizing the needs and desires of others, the fawn response can provide a temporary sense of safety, although at the cost of one’s own needs and well-being. Understanding this response is crucial for recognizing patterns of behaviour that may hinder personal growth and emotional health.
Common Trauma Response Types Based on the Primary F’s
1. People-Pleasing
People-pleasing is strongly associated with the fawn response. It can manifest in various ways, such as agreeing with others all the time, being overly helpful, or even stepping up as a leader. While these behaviours can be beneficial, especially in a work environment, people-pleasing can ultimately harm both the individual and their connections.
When someone is in a situation they’re uncomfortable with, they might respond using fawning by nodding along and saying “yes,” even if they secretly disagree. This tendency can hold us back from expressing our true beliefs, voicing concerns, or asking for help when we need it.
People-pleasing often stems from past experiences where prioritizing others’ needs felt like a way to ensure our own safety. These experiences can originate from childhood, however they can also arise from past and current friendships, relationships, and even jobs.
If you’re familiar with the drama triangle, you might recognize that people-pleasing often puts someone in the “rescuer” role. It’s important to be aware of these dynamics so we can break free from them and then foster healthier interactions.
2. Getting Defensive
When we consider the fight-or-flight survival response, we often envision an individual prepared for physical confrontation. However, the fight response frequently manifests as defensiveness, particularly in workplace settings.
Take, for example, a hypothetical employee who consistently remains resistant to feedback and change. Colleagues might characterize this individual as stubborn, inflexible, or even indignant. During disagreements, this person may find it challenging to listen attentively to others or may resort to raising their voice.
These behaviours, often labeled as personality traits, may stem from underlying trauma responses. Understanding this connection can foster a more compassionate and supportive work environment, ultimately enhancing collaboration and productivity.
3. Walking Away
The “flight” response is a common reaction to trauma that can manifest as drastic behaviour. Often, this response is accompanied by feelings of anxiety or fear. For some individuals, the flight response may manifest as an overwhelming urge to escape a situation, which can lead to behaviours such as abruptly walking away from a conversation or meeting.
Without a trauma-informed perspective, our instinct may be to label such behaviour as “completely inappropriate,” prompting us to schedule a meeting to reprimand the individual involved. This approach, however, emphasizes correction without encouraging connection.
In contrast, adopting a trauma-informed perspective allows us to recognize that the individual may have felt profoundly unsafe, leading to their behaviour. By employing a “connection before correction” model, we can create a supportive environment through open, honest, and safe dialogue before addressing future expectations. This approach not only promotes understanding but also encourages a more compassionate response to challenging situations.
4. Shutting Down
When an individual experiences a freeze response because of trauma, they often encounter significant difficulties in cognitive processing. Their thoughts may become completely disorganized, leaving them at a loss for words.
This scenario can be frustrating for both parties involved. The person engaging with the individual experiencing the trauma response may feel as though they are communicating with a wall, leading them to assume that the other person is indifferent to the conversation or emotionally disengaged.
Conversely, the individual struggling to articulate their thoughts may struggle with feelings of confusion and frustration. As they experience this shutdown, they may become increasingly aware of their inability to express themselves, which can evoke feelings of anger and helplessness. Understanding these dynamics is crucial for fostering empathy and effective communication in such challenging situations.
5. Emotional Numbness
While some individuals may encounter what is often referred to as “trauma brain” as a lack of thoughts or words, others may experience a profound absence of emotions. This emotional numbness, coupled with diminished emotional intelligence and a lack of emotional awareness, can stem from traumatic experiences in which expressing emotions felt unsafe.
When you or someone you know struggles to connect with their emotions, it is crucial to adopt a trauma-informed perspective. This approach recognizes such responses as natural reactions to past experiences, rather than viewing them as personal failures, flaws, or deficits. By understanding the impact of trauma on emotional processing, we can adopt a more compassionate and supportive environment for healing and growth.
6. Dissociation
Dissociation is a psychological response to trauma that can lead to a profound sense of disconnection from oneself. Individuals may experience this disconnection in various ways, including a detachment from their emotions and experiences, difficulty recalling past events, or a pervasive feeling that the surrounding world is unreal.
As one of the most prevalent responses to trauma, dissociation can manifest for varying durations—ranging from a few minutes to several days or even weeks. In certain instances, persistent dissociation may indicate the presence of a dissociative disorder.
While dissociation can serve as a protective mechanism that enables individuals to navigate overwhelming traumatic experiences, it can also evolve into a maladaptive coping strategy. This is particularly concerning when it hinders an individual’s ability to remain present and engaged in their daily life. Understanding the complexities of dissociation is crucial for developing effective therapeutic interventions and supporting those affected by trauma.
7. Playing the Victim
Reenactment is a common response to trauma, and individuals often find themselves adopting the role of the victim during this process. This phenomenon highlights the complex interplay between personal experiences and the ways in which individuals navigate their emotional landscapes in the aftermath of distressing events.
The victim mentality embodies a sense of helplessness, often expressed through thoughts such as, “Poor me! There’s nothing I can do.” Those who identify as victims frequently resist recognizing their contributions to their own situations, thereby relinquishing any sense of responsibility. This mindset can lead to an overwhelming sense of hopelessness, dejection, and shame.
Individuals entrenched in a victim mentality often find it challenging to make decisions and to acknowledge the personal power they possess. This inability to recognize their agency can hinder their ability to move forward and create positive change in their lives.
8. Hyper-independence
Hyper-independence often emerges as a profound trauma response, standing in stark contrast to the inclination towards hyper-dependence on others. This complex behavioural pattern highlights the intricate ways individuals cope with past experiences, revealing a nuanced spectrum of reliance that can significantly impact personal relationships and overall well-being. Many individuals can relate to the discomfort associated with asking for assistance. However, hyper-independence amplifies this fear of reliance to an extreme degree.
Individuals exhibiting hyper-independence typically refrain from seeking help, often viewing self-sufficiency as a point of pride. While this trait may seem admirable, it can hinder the development of vulnerability and the formation of authentic relationships with others.
This resistance to seeking support often stems from past experiences in which individuals felt abandoned or unsupported during times of need. Consequently, their minds may become conditioned to anticipate a lack of assistance from others, leading them to pre-emptively shut down opportunities for support before they can be disappointed again. Understanding this dynamic is crucial for promoting healthier interpersonal connections and promoting emotional well-being.
9. Constantly Keeping Busy
Engaging in trauma-informed work necessitates a high level of self-awareness, which often emerges during moments of stillness and quiet reflection. However, for many individuals, these tranquil moments can be overwhelmed by negative thoughts rather than encouraging self-awareness. To manage these intrusive thoughts, some may resort to keeping themselves perpetually busy.
While distraction can serve as an effective short-term coping mechanism for immediate distress, it can also evolve into a maladaptive strategy when it leads to avoidance. A constant state of busyness—characterized by an inability to pause, coupled with the incessant background noise of television or music—can be indicative of a trauma response.
In a professional setting, you may encounter colleagues who are relentlessly focused on advancing to the next project, rarely taking breaks, and perpetually aware of their limited time. Rather than perceiving this behaviour as a problem, it is essential to recognize it as a manifestation of their trauma response. By understanding this context, we can offer meaningful support as they navigate their healing journey.
10. Playing the Persecutor
Persecutors frequently embody the roles of shame and blame, functioning as harsh critics who impose inflexible rules to assert control in contexts where they perceive themselves as authority figures. Their behaviour often reflects a desire to dominate, creating an environment that stifles open communication and promotes a culture of fear and compliance. In a workplace context, these individuals can manifest as bullies.
While it may be tempting to assign blame solely to the persecutor, a trauma-informed perspective reveals that their behaviour is often a response to their own trauma. When they feel threatened or unsafe, they may resort to exerting control as a coping mechanism. This trauma response can lead to inflexibility, a lack of open-mindedness, difficulties in problem-solving, and strained relationships.
The role of the persecutor is detrimental not only to those around them but also to the persecutors themselves. Their behaviour creates a toxic environment that hinders collaboration and growth, ultimately impacting their own well-being and professional relationships. Understanding the underlying trauma can encourage empathy and pave the way for more constructive interactions.
We Become More Understanding When Recognizing Trauma Responses
Applying a trauma-informed approach to the way we view people and situations encourages us to adopt a perspective that’s rooted in compassion, kindness, and understanding. By interpreting problematic, unhelpful, or self-sabotaging behaviours as manifestations of trauma, we can explore the underlying motivations for our actions and thoughts. This process enables us to embark on a journey of healing, encouraging meaningful change and personal growth.
If you have further questions about how people respond to traumatic events, or you would like some assistance in building upon this skill to better recognize trauma responses, we invite you to consult with our team at Hopewoods. We are dedicated to providing our clients with a comprehensive understanding of potential responses to trauma. We also offer specialized trauma therapy services as part of our customized therapy plans tailored to supporting individual mental health needs.
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