Redefining Self-Care: What It Actually Means and How to Truly Use It

We’ve all heard about the idea of self-care as it relates to our mental health. Time and time again, we’re advised to look after ourselves, regularly do things that make us happy, and work the practice of self-care into our daily routines. However, in our current world where life’s responsibilities can pile up, the idea of self-care can too often end up on the back burner.

One of the main reasons for this is the simple fact that self-care is a generic term. While it’s easy to understand self-care as a general topic, finding specific, personalized ways to incorporate it into your life can be a bit trickier. In this guide, we’ll help you create your own personal definition of self-care, as well as provide some tangible, actionable ways to start building this habit into second nature.

A New Way of Looking at Self-Care

Self-care is oftentimes portrayed as a binary—you’re either caring for yourself, or you’re not. You’re either eating right, or you’re succumbing to junk food temptations. You’re getting to the gym every day, or you’re idling on the couch. This binary perspective of self-care might seem motivating at first, but in reality, it often leads to nothing more than guilt. 

When we look at self-care as a rigid, all-or-nothing affair, it can be all too easy to fall off the wagon. If your only accepted method of self-care is to work out, you’re going to feel discouraged and frustrated when you inevitably miss a day. Suddenly, you’ve broken a good habit, making it dangerously simple to abandon your efforts entirely.

That’s why it’s important to look at self-care in a new light—one that accounts for our many facets and needs. One of the best ways to create a personal definition of self-care is to break it down into the three parts of the self that need caring for: our minds, bodies, and spirits. 

Self-Care for the Body

Self-care is commonly discussed as it relates to our minds. But nourishing and caring for our bodies is just as important—after all, our bodies are the vessels for our minds. And with new research coming out all the time on the indivisible connection between our bodies and minds, we can begin to see how physical self-care can affect our mental well-being and vice versa.

There are a few general principles of self-care for the body that will benefit just about anyone. But we recommend using them to inspire your own self-care practices rather than treating them as hard-and-fast rules. What works for one person may not help another, since each of us has different needs, abilities, and goals. With that said, here are a few broad strokes ideas to get you inspired to start caring for your body:

1. Prioritize a Thoughtful Diet

Notice how we didn’t say ‘eat healthy’ or ‘stop eating junk food’? That’s because these are overly simple platitudes that feel more like rules to restrict us, rather than self-care tips to inspire us. A balanced, varied diet has been shown time and time again to support our mental health, however it goes beyond cutting out trans fats or sugar.

Yes, food fuels our bodies, however it should also make us happy. Try to find a balance between things you like to eat and things you “should” eat. This could mean counterbalancing those all-important guilty pleasure snacks with some fresh veggies, looking for ways to balance out a heavier meal and make it a little more nourishing, or trying new foods and cuisines to find a new favourite. 

If you’ve ever felt too busy or overwhelmed to eat properly, or at all, you understand how much it can affect your brain. Taking some time to think ahead about food can do wonders for your mental health. Whether this means a full-scale meal prep or simply planning a week’s dinner menu in advance, prioritizing consistency and thoughtfulness in your diet is as essential as choosing healthy foods. 

2. Boost Your Heart Rate

Exercise is, without question, extremely beneficial for your mental health. However, if you treat it as an all-or-nothing routine, well-intentioned goals can feel totally unrealistic on more challenging days. So rather than thinking of exercise in absolute terms (e.g., going for a run 4 times a week), cut yourself a little slack. 

Think of exercise as a meter to be filled through a variety of activities that boost your heart rate and get the blood pumping through your body. Even fifteen minutes of exertion can help boost your brain, providing a sense of accomplishment that will propel you to do even better the next day. 

3. Stick to a Sleep Schedule

Sleep is an essential part of a healthy body and mind, but it’s often treated as an inconvenience. Many of us are guilty of occasionally sacrificing the quality and quantity of our sleep to make space for other things, whether it’s working late or binge-watching a new TV show. 

When we sleep, our brains literally clean themselves, flushing out the waste products that accumulate throughout the day. By allowing our brains to perform this process through consistent sleep, we’re able to think more clearly and make better decisions in our waking lives. 

Support your brain through sleep by sticking to a consistent sleep schedule and practicing good sleep hygiene, such as by shutting off electronics for 30-60 minutes before sleeping to allow your brain to wind down.

Self-Care for the Mind

We use our minds for everything, so it only makes sense to care for them where we can. Daily life demands a lot of our brains, making it essential to take breaks and do things that nourish and support our minds as often as possible. Here are two ideas to inspire you as you develop a personal self-care routine for your mind:

1. Expand Your Horizons

Odds are, you deal with a lot of the same daily thoughts and mental patterns through work or school. Over time, this can lead to stagnation in the mind, since we’re learning less and being exposed to fewer new things. 

Search for ways to get your mind moving in ways that it normally wouldn’t—read a book in a genre you don’t usually go for. Watch a foreign film in a language you don’t speak. Work on a jigsaw puzzle. Try your hand at an instrument. Work away at learning a new skill.

We recommend experimenting with different ways of broadening your mind. You’re much more likely to keep up with this practice if you find something you actually enjoy doing. Having intrinsic motivation to do something different from your everyday routine can relieve stress, take your focus off of life’s daily challenges, and help exercise your brain.

2. Practice Mindfulness

In a world dominated by screens, ads, and content, it can be so easy to go days, weeks, or months without a single quiet moment where you’re alone with your thoughts. The simple act of unplugging and really sitting with your mind can do wonders for your overall mental health. It recharges the brain, helping you to have more mental energy for everything life throws at you.

You may have heard about common mindfulness methods like meditation or controlled breathing. These are amazing ways to be mindful, but they’re not your only option! Anything that helps you get in touch with your brain is a great way to practice mental self-care, whether it’s going for a hike, lying in the grass, or working in your woodshop. 

Self-Care for the Spirit

The last (and most intangible) element of this new definition of self-care is the spirit. Spirituality looks very different for everyone—making it vital to consider what self-care strategies work best for you. Here are a few ideas to inspire your own spiritual self-care practice:

1. Get Out of the Isolation Bubble

There’s never been an easier time to isolate ourselves. Working from home, food and item deliveries, and a steady stream of in-home entertainment means it can be easy to self-isolate. Having alone time is crucial, especially if you consider yourself to be more of an introvert. But introvert or not, we’re humans—inherently social animals who need regular interaction to develop and maintain our brains. 

Prioritize socializing with friends and family when you can. Even if it initially feels like a chore to follow through on plans with other people, you’ll likely realize you’re enjoying yourself before long. Plus, you’ll soon feel the many mental health benefits of socialization, including improved mood, sharpened memory, and boosted cognitive skills.

2. Find Ways to Be of Service

It’s easy to get tunnel vision in the modern age. We’ve all got our own problems, challenges, and responsibilities, and it can feel difficult to zoom out and start considering ways to serve our communities.

Finding ways to give back can do wonders for your spiritual self, offering a sense of accomplishment and pride in yourself that you simply can’t get through self-motivated actions. No act of service is too small to fulfill you spiritually—even a couple of hours per week of volunteering alongside other people can help you develop a sense of purpose and meaning in your life. Over time, being of service to others will help you find spiritual daily direction beyond the basics of showing up to work and paying your bills. 

3. Emphasize Gratitude

Last but not least, we recommend finding ways to be grateful as often as you possibly can. Life is full of challenge, tragedy, and hardship, but it’s also full of kindness, joy, and beauty. We’re not suggesting that you pretend nothing is wrong in the world, but rather to spend at least as much time focusing on the good as the bad. 

How you prioritize gratitude is up to you. Some people like to journal, making a note of things they’re grateful for every day. Some prefer to meditate and reflect on this internally. Others might want to talk to people and express their gratitude directly. No matter how you choose to express gratitude, you’ll begin to feel its effects on breaking the cycle of stress and worry.

Getting Personal with Self-Care

As you can see, self-care is a much, much more complex topic than simply eating healthy or making sure to brush your teeth. It’s a spectrum of things, big and small, that combine to create a personalized routine of acts that nourish your mind, body, and spirit. By taking the time to develop a routine that addresses your specific needs in these three areas, self-care will stop feeling like a chore—it will simply become your normal.

If you’re looking for support as you develop your own personal definition of self-care, we’re here to help. Whether you’re starting from scratch or are looking for guidance as you hone a routine that works for you, our team has the skills and experience to make self-care work for you. Learn more by getting in touch today. You can also book a free 30-minute consultation.

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