What is mental health? The condition of your mind, behaviours, and emotions is your mental health, like your physical health. Your physical health can positively and negatively influence your mental health, as well as life experiences, relationships, work and/or school environment, and the community in which you live.
When you’re mentally healthy, it can contribute to feeling, thinking, and acting in ways that help you enjoy your life and cope with its challenges. When you struggle with mental health, it leaves you feeling unhappy, unable to think clearly, and feeling overwhelmed by stressful situations.
We understand that for some people who are struggling with their mental health, it can be difficult to find the right words to describe how they’re feeling, or even know where to start talking about their feelings. Not everyone is overly chatty, and depending on how a person copes with their mental health struggles, it can be hard to open up to someone about what’s going on in their life.
We know it’s hard figuring out how to approach therapy, and how to talk about what you’re going through. That’s why we offer these gentle guidelines to get you started. Here’s how to describe your mental health signs to your therapist.
What To Talk to Your Therapist About
It can feel awkward going to therapy, especially for the first time. If it helps, you don’t have to start talking about anything heavy, especially if you aren’t feeling comfortable and you haven’t gotten a ‘feel’ for your therapist and sessions. The important thing is that you feel safe in the environment before deciding when you’ll be able to open up.
Start with ‘Small’ Issues
There is no “correct” way to have therapy or topics to discuss. You can talk about whatever you wish. If you are having a hard time finding a starting point, nothing is off limits. For example, you can speak about your hopes, dreams, fears, regrets, hurts, shame, even conversations you had with your parents or exchanges with your partner.
Still not sure where to start? Recap your last session (if it’s not your very first), the good stuff and bad. From there, see what you’d like to further explore together.
Behaviours and Patterns
It can be a good idea between your therapy sessions to keep a journal for tracking your behaviours, patterns, and thoughts. If you’re shy or find it difficult remembering things on the spot, this can be a great tool. You don’t have to have it with you or read directly from it in your session either.
Writing things down can allow you to look for patterns in your feelings and behaviours that you may want to address. For example, if you noticed that your self-confidence was low over the week, and you think it might be due to something that happened at work the previous week, this would be something you may want to address with your therapist.
Present Feelings
During the week, you may have felt an entire spectrum of emotions, but if you’re not feeling those now, you don’t have to start your session with that. Focus on how you’re feeling right now in the present moment, even if it’s simply, “I really don’t want to be here because I feel anxious about work.”
What you need from therapy will change each session. It’s okay if you went in thinking you were going to talk about your relationship, and instead spent the whole session venting about your co-worker.
Rumination
Rumination, or the tendency to repeatedly go over the same thoughts, can be present in depression and anxiety. If you have had issues falling asleep this week due to your mind constantly thinking about something you wish you had done, or you were worried about something that you have coming up, this is a good talking point to start at during your therapy session.
Relationships
When you think of relationships, you automatically think of romance, right? Well, in therapy, we want to hear about all your relationships, your partner, your family, your friends, your work colleagues, your classmates. Do you feel like you’re supported at home? Do you feel like you have someone you can share your feelings with? Or do you have trouble opening up to other people, not only with your therapist?
Relationships play a crucial role in your day-to-day mood and feelings; they can either make or break your mental health. For example, if you’ve been avoiding phone calls from your mom, even though you love her dearly, tell your therapist, and you can explore possible reasons why you might be avoiding those calls. Even when you feel like you have good relationships, talking about them can help you flush out things that are working in your life and give you resources you can draw from outside of sessions.
Past Trauma
After talking about the things going on now, you might not want to touch your past traumas. When you’re ready, establish that you’re in a safe space and you can trust your therapist with sharing this information with them.
Be open and honest about how you feel. Discuss what boundaries need to be in place and consent that you’re giving to discuss this information, however it’s at your pace and you need to be comfortable to stop if you feel uncomfortable, or if you wish to pause.
New Life Challenges
Therapy is not always about a problem to address but rather a feeling or emotion unfamiliar to you. New phases of life, such as childbirth, marriage, or moving to a new location can stir up untouched memories and thoughts that you need help navigating. While you may not always be able to express what that feeling is, you can recognize that something is different.
If there has been a change in your life and you feel different because of this change, bring it up in your session. You don’t have to mention just what is ‘bad’ about it. While most change can be good for us, it still carries new feelings you may want to discuss within a safe and non-judgmental space.
Avoided Conflicts and Thoughts
This can include things you’re embarrassed of thinking, or something you think is “silly” to be worrying about. Perhaps it is something you may think is “stupid” or “trivial.”
We tend to censor ourselves and judge our own feelings. Therapy is the place you can explore your thoughts and feelings, even the ones you feel like you shouldn’t be having. It’s okay to have feelings, feel what they are, and bring these up during therapy.
Think about what you’d least like to talk about. There could be something uncomfortable, painful, or difficult you need to let out, which when left to fester, they become worse. Therapy is your safe space to talk through things you’d usually avoid.
Trouble Opening Up
If you have issues opening up and you don’t know why, tell your therapist. This alone might be worth exploring with them. Even if something is not focused on immediately because of discomfort, it’s beneficial to understand what obstacles are keeping you from opening up about a particular issue.
For example, when you’re feeling depressed, you lose interest in the things you enjoy and feel lower energy levels. If you attended a therapy session today and last week felt especially difficult, and you’re not sure why, your therapist can help you talk through your feelings about that and figure out if there is something else going on.
Discomfort with Therapy
It takes time to build trust, and sharing your thoughts and feelings with someone you consider a stranger isn’t easy. If you have trouble trusting your therapist, which is completely normal, bring it up in your session. They can help work with you on building a foundation of trust that allows you to open up more in further sessions.
Therapy is about building a relationship between client and therapist. If you have a hard time opening up to your therapist, it can mean there is still trust that needs developing in the therapeutic relationship. If after a few sessions, you still don’t feel comfortable, it’s okay to find a different therapist who fits with your level of comfort.
We’re Here When You’re Ready
Now that you’ve got some insight into how to approach describing your mental health signs and what you’re going through in your life, it’s up to you to decide when you’re ready for therapy.
At Hopewoods, our team is here for you when you’re ready to talk to someone. We are dedicated to supporting you with a safe and encouraging space to delve into your thoughts and feelings.
Taking the first step can be difficult, which is why we offer several free resources and consultations to help get you started. For all other questions about therapy, what we do, why we provide our services, or how therapy can help you, feel free to check out our FAQ.
If you have any questions or concerns regarding our psychotherapy sessions, assessments, or free resources that we offer, contact us today or book your free 30-minute consultation here.
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