As we approach the end of summer vacation, we suggest you take a closer look at your child or teen and their reaction as they get ready to go back to school. Do they seem uneasy when the conversation turns towards getting ready for back-to-school? Have school supply shopping trips become chaotic? Is tension seeming to increase between you and your child as the first day of school draws near?
Everyone can become anxious during times of change or transition. This especially applies to children when it’s time to go back to school. If the above situations seem to apply to you and your family, it could mean your child or teen is experiencing back-to-school anxiety. Children especially can experience this when going back to school, changing schools, or it’s their first time going to school.
This anxiety is stressful for everyone in the family and can be disruptive to the family routine towards the end of summer. Fortunately, there are things you can do to help your child ease their nervousness and make the transition into a new school year smoother. In our guide, discover how to help your child with their back-to-school anxiety.
Examples of School Worries and Anxiety Symptoms
Children and teens can be anxious over many school-related issues, like teachers, friends, fitting in, bullying, and/or being away from their parents. They may have these commonly noticed worries:
- What kind of teacher will I have?
- What if my teacher is mean to me, or doesn’t like me?
- Will I have any friends in my class(es)?
- Will I fit in?
- Is what I’m wearing okay?
- Will anyone sit with me at lunch?
- What if I’m late for school?
- What if I miss my bus?
- What if I can’t understand my homework?
- What if something happens to my parents while I’m at school?
Similarly, your child or teen may experience several symptoms of this form of anxiety.
Physical symptoms may include:
- Stomachaches
- Headaches
- Dizziness
- Rapid heartbeat
- Shortness of breath
- Sweating
Emotional symptoms may include:
- Fearfulness
- Worry
- Irritability
- Sadness
Behavioural symptoms may include:
- Refusal to attend class or go to school
- Frequently skip school
- Heightened anger or irritability
- Meltdowns
- Crying spells
- Trying to stay at home by claiming to be sick
Where to Start Navigating the Anxiety
The basics: No one manages well when they’re hungry or tired. Children who are anxious may forget to eat, or don’t feel hungry, and may not get enough sleep. If you don’t already have a routine, it might help to start one. Ensuring a regular routine means your child has predictability and structure. These routines can be around morning and bedtime habits, as well as eating habits like incorporating nutritious snacks.
Encourage your child to share their fears: Have a gentle conversation with your child, asking them what they feel is making them worried. Tell them it is normal to have concerns. Before and during the first few weeks of school, make a regular time and place to have conversations. Children usually feel most comfortable with your undivided attention in a private space (during a meal or before bed). Teens welcome distractions, like taking a walk or going for a drive, to decrease the intensity of their feelings and worries.
Problem-solve and plan: Encourage your child to think of ways to solve the problem they may be having. You get an opportunity to teach your child how to cope with (and figure out) real and imaginary scary situations, as well as give them the tools they need to cope with unexpected situations that may come about.
Pay attention to your emotional reaction and behaviour: It’s anxiety-provoking for parents to give the care and responsibility of their children to teachers. Children will take cues from their parents, so the more comfort and confidence you can exude and model, the more your child understands there is no reason to be afraid. Be firm, yet supportive. When you say goodbye in the morning, say it once and with a cheerful tone. Have a calm talk about what they may be worried about if they protest at going. They may be anxious over something that requires some small problem-solving, planning, and/or teacher involvement.
Focus on encouragement: You can gently direct your child to pay attention to positives rather than their worries. You can ask them questions such as, “What are three things you are most excited for on your first day of school?” Even if it’s just eating their special snack or coming home at the end of the day, most children will think of something that brings a smile to their face. Fun aspects may be overlooked by repetitive worries.
What You Can Do Leading Up to the First Day of School
One Week Before:
- Start a school-day routine, including waking up, eating, and going to bed at regular times. Explain that everyone in the family needs to adjust to the new schedule, so they don’t feel alone with the changes.
- Get a “big person” alarm clock for your child if they have sleeping issues, such as getting up and out of bed when it goes off. Let them practice using it leading up to the first day of school. It may be more fun for them if you let them pick the clock out when you go to buy it, as they are more likely to use something they are interested in or like.
- Encourage your child to help plan school lunches for the first week.
- When you have your school supply list, plan a fun shopping trip around getting the supplies.
- Teach and practice coping skills to use when having anxiety symptoms, such as calmer breathing.
Couple Days Before School:
- Go to school a few times. Walk, drive, or take the bus. Young children who take the school bus may be more at ease with a drawn-out bus route, including where the bus goes and how long it will take to get to school. Talk to your child or teen about riding the bus safely.
- If your children are new to the school, make sure you both get a tour. Show your child the classrooms, bathrooms, and shared areas. Have a meeting with your child’s teacher or teachers with your child present.
- Ask your child to choose their clothing for the first week of school. Let them wear their favourite outfit on the first day.
- Pack their school bag together the night before, including treats.
- If you have younger children who are nervous about being separated from you, suggest taking something special to school that will remind them of home. Leaving a reassuring note in their lunch can also help ease their separation anxiety.
The First Day of School:
- Have your child go to school with a friend for the first couple of days, either carpool or sit together on the bus.
- Tell their teacher they are having separation anxiety.
- Praise and reward your child for their brave behaviour with a fun activity or picking a special movie to watch on Friday.
If you feel you could use some extra help easing your child’s back-to-school anxiety, we are here for your child’s needs. Contact us today if you feel your child or teen may benefit from our counselling and therapy services, or you may book a free 30-minute consultation.
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