Have you been feeling disconnected not only from the people you love the most, but also your own emotions? Have you been feeling especially anxious or depressed lately in regards to your relationships, romantic and otherwise? Or have you been struggling daily to communicate with the people who matter to you the most?
If these questions resonated with you or you said ‘yes’ to any or all of them, know that there is support and help available. More specifically, we’re talking about emotionally-focused therapy, or EFT. EFT is a therapeutic approach designed to enhance an individual’s understanding of their attachments to others, ultimately leading to improved relationships. Developed by Sue Johnson and Les Greenberg in the 1980s, EFT is grounded in the psychology of attachment bonds.
EFT is specifically tailored to enhance attachment and bonding within adult relationships. Drawing on research that views love as an attachment bond, EFT aims to strengthen emotional connections between partners. This approach has proven effective in couples therapy, encouraging more secure emotional bonds and facilitating improved communication.
Not only can EFT be applied to couples therapy sessions, it can also be applied to individual or family counselling as well. In fact, it’s been successfully adapted for use in family therapy. By helping individuals form stronger emotional bonds, this therapeutic approach can promote healthier relationships and more effective communication within families.
Not sure if EFT is right for you to explore? Keep reading this article, where we cover the principles and techniques of EFT and how it can be effectively applied in therapeutic settings.
What is Emotionally-Focused Therapy (EFT)?
Emotionally-focused therapy is a collaborative and empathetic approach that guides individuals in accessing and processing their emotional experiences in a transformative manner. Through EFT, clients are supported in developing a deeper understanding of their emotions, learning to manage them effectively, and ultimately enhancing their overall well-being and self-connection.
This evidence-based therapy technique assists not only couples but also individuals in identifying and addressing emotions of all kinds, improving communication skills, promoting meaningful connections with others, and overcoming life’s challenges. EFT also assists in resolving anger and sadness and transforming maladaptive emotional patterns such as those found in depression, anxiety, shame, and helplessness.
By engaging in EFT, individuals can cultivate a greater sense of emotional awareness, resilience, and personal growth. This therapeutic modality offers a safe and supportive space where couples and individuals can explore and better process their emotions, leading to lasting changes in their emotional well-being and overall quality of life.
Who Can Benefit from EFT?
The basic principle of EFT is that emotions are the key to identity. What this means is it acknowledges the vital role emotions play in our lives and emphasizes the significance of exploring our emotional experiences as a means of finding purpose, direction, and personal growth. Emotions serve as a powerful indicator, signaling what matters to us and alerting us to areas in need of our attention and healing. Emotions offer valuable insights into our needs, spur us into action, and shape our interactions and behaviours. This is why EFT can benefit individuals and families and not only couples, because emotions play a role in everyone.
To thrive, it is essential that we develop emotional awareness and learn to harness our emotions in a constructive manner. However, if we have developed a habit of distrusting, suppressing, fearing, or avoiding our emotions, we risk disconnecting ourselves from valuable self-knowledge, holding back our ability to respond effectively to life’s challenges. Early encounters with invalidation, abuse, or trauma can also give rise to persistent, distressing emotions that require intervention. Emotion-focused therapists are skilled in guiding individuals towards establishing a healthy relationship with their emotional experiences—including feelings, memories, thoughts, and physical sensations—in a manner that fosters the transformation of maladaptive emotional states, facilitates access to internal resources, and promotes a more mindful existence.
If you would like to get to know an EFT therapist further, meet our team members at Hopewoods who are certified in emotionally-focused therapy:
What Happens in EFT?
Therapists who are either certified in emotionally-focused therapy or who can apply it to their sessions typically work directly with emotions to help individuals understand, tolerate, and manage their feelings. The goal is to use emotions as a tool to achieve personal needs and goals. Through guided therapy sessions, clients are encouraged to actively experience their emotions in a safe environment. This approach allows individuals to embrace their emotions rather than suppress or control them, ultimately using them as a compass to navigate relationships and personal growth.
During this process, clients learn to establish a healthy distance from their emotions, preventing them from becoming overwhelmed or detached. Therapists also assist clients in accessing and using positive emotions and inner strengths to combat negative emotional states. This may include addressing feelings of inadequacy, depression, anxiety, or shame.
Overall, emotionally-focused therapy aims to empower individuals to harness the power of their emotions, promoting personal growth and emotional resilience. By developing emotional skills and tapping into inner strengths, clients can overcome maladaptive emotional patterns and develop a healthier sense of self.
What are the Benefits of EFT?
EFT is a powerful tool that can help individuals, couples, and families navigate through challenging relationship dynamics. By identifying and addressing automatic, counterproductive reactions that frequently jeopardize relationships, EFT can yield substantial advantages.
1. Enhance Emotional Functioning
One of the key advantages is its ability to enhance emotional functioning. By providing a framework for healthy dependency between partners, EFT focuses on identifying key moments and actions that shape healthy adult love relationships. The primary objective of this model is to broaden and restructure the emotional responses within the couple, encouraging a deeper connection and understanding.
2. Strengthen Relationships
EFT is rooted in attachment theory, which emphasizes the importance of secure attachments in providing a haven for individuals. By strengthening bonds between partners, EFT offers a sanctuary where comfort, security, and support can be found, serving as a buffer against the stresses of everyday life.
3. Improve Emotional Understanding
In addition, EFT promotes improved interpersonal understanding by helping individuals become more attuned to their partner’s needs. This heightened awareness enables couples to engage in open and empathetic communication, encouraging a deeper level of connection and intimacy. By approaching problems from a place of empathy rather than defensiveness or anger, individuals can cultivate a more harmonious and fulfilling relationship.
4. Make Room for Vulnerability
Overall, EFT offers a transformative approach to relationship counselling, empowering individuals, couples, and families to build stronger, more resilient connections based on trust, understanding, and mutual support. If you are prepared to be open and vulnerable to your emotions, EFT may be the right choice for you.
Feel Your Way to a Better You
During an EFT session, your therapist serves as an active collaborator, observing the dynamics between you and/or your loved ones and guiding you as you explore new ways of interaction and communication. EFT therapists take a proactive role in directing the conversation. A strong emphasis is placed on addressing emotions and interactions within the session.
With empathy and understanding at the forefront, therapists assist couples in recognizing the validity of their emotions. They help individuals and couples identify behaviours and patterns that may be contributing to conflict in the relationship, even if they were previously unaware of them.
If you believe that EFT could benefit your relationship, our team at Hopewoods is here to support you on this emotional journey. Let us guide you through the process of healing and growth together. If you have any questions, contact us today or book a free 30-minute consultation.
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